From Debbie, Monday morning

Dear Family and Friends,

I want to thank all of you for your caring and concerned thoughts and prayers throughout our seven week journey. Jerry and I were overwhelmed and truly humbled by your love. Your collective strengths held us up when we thought we could no longer stand. Your thoughts and prayers guided our every step. Your compassion inspired us. The words "thank you" are inadequate, but they are all I have and are most heartfelt. Our journey was long and hard, but we did have many gifts along the way, for which I am thankful.

During the time that Jerry was extubated (Sept 10-14) we were able to talk, laugh, plan, eat ice cream, sit in a chair, read the paper and be together. After reintubation, the road was harder, Jerry's body betrayed him and he suffered, as did I. The last several days he was not sedated. These days and nights were long and difficult. However, Friday every prayer was answered.

Time had finally revealed itself to us, which had been my steadfast prayer. I was grateful. Jerry was awake and very clear. His lips moved with ease and communication was restored. He was calm, confident and had no fear. His pain was less, and he requested no medication. His constant nausea had vanished. He was ready and so was I. We spent the day remembering our life together, our family and friends and the many "stories" that made up our lives with all of you. We remembered the places we had traveled and enjoyed and our many adventures. We remembered golf, turkey and dressing, chinese rock and roll and our first date. (I reminded him that he told me the dress I wore on our first date was "gastly", and he confirmed he still felt that way!) We remembered the many playful "nicknames" he bestowed on so many of those he loved. We remembered the many theater performances, concerts and modern art collections we had enjoyed. There were very few tears and many smiles.

Jerry always believed he would be reunited with his parents upon his death. Over our 18 1/2 years together, he spoke of his parents often and his belief of reunification with those you love. He always said, "Remember, time flies. We always say that, so I will be with them before you know it. TIme flies." Many times Friday, I reminded Jerry that "time flies" and this brought us great comfort and peace. I told him to go from my hands to the hands of his parents and I know he did just that. Few people could have the courage and conviction to make the choice that Jerry did. I assure you that Jerry was as amazing in the face of death as he had been throughout his life. Simply said, he was truly beautiful.

I am now at home in Bloomington, which has been wonderful. Jerry is present everywhere and that brings me great comfort. Our home feels like a "warm embrace" and I have no fears of being "alone" here. I do plan to be in Florida, but I am not sure when, or how long. A friend has mentioned hosting a "gathering" for me, as an opportunity to see many of you who cannot be with us this week. I am considering it, and will make a decision soon. Please continue to check the blog in the next week or two as the updates will continue.

In the past seven weeks, many of you have offered to do "anything" I need, and this has been helpful. In the future I may have more requests of you. Currently, I have only two.

First, my friendships with all of you are important to me. In spite of Jerry's physical absence, please continue to include me as you have always included us. Talk to me about Jerry, we will help each other to remember him. Bear with a few tears, as there are sure to be some, but they will be "good" and "brief".

Second, when Jerry was extubated he asked me, "Did all of this have an impact or meaning on our friends and family?" Of course, I assured him it did impact many. However, when he asked the question, he was getting better, and I thought his question was related to seeking good health, eating right, physical activity etc. Over the course of the last month I wondered if his question was more profound, as in "Did my life matter to our friends and family?" In an effort to let him know he indeed "mattered" to many I read your cards, notes and emails to him many times, ensuring him he was loved, admired and respected by many. Your cards, notes and emails impacted us both greatly. If you are able, send me a note, card or email and tell me what he meant to you. Tell me how he mattered. It could be a single word, a sentence, a poem, or a memory, a funny "Jerry" story,or a professional encounter. Many of you have already done this. You may email them, send them to our home in Bloomington, or Jerry's office. These notes will help me to take the next step on my journey.

Thank you all for everything. And please know, we felt your love then, and I feel your love now.

Love,

Debbie